Help me, help me, tell me what is wrong
Is this feeling common or am I the only one
Help me, help me, whenever I go out
To dance and to enjoy myself they think I need a guy
First this boy turned up, didn't say a word
He just sat and stared, oh did he get on my nerves
Then a fellow came, such a gorgeous guy
With an empty brain, so I told him with a smile
Nice to see you, take a hike
There is No Romance when you ask me for my number... a.s.o.
Just a one-night stand, I don't need it now
There is No Romance
Where's the gentleman I wonder
I just wanna dance, I intend to stay alone
Even when I'm walking home
When my, when my friends get up and dance
That is when the drunk obnoxious guys take a chance
help me, help me, I'm looking for a guy
Who knows how to treat, how to treat me right
First this man turned up with a nasty smell
And the second guy, what he was I couldn't tell
Then a boy turned up with a dirty mind
And another one smelled of yesterday's wine
How I hate the smell of it
There is No Romance when you ask me for my number... a.s.o.
Rudolph Valentino and all those other stars
They're the kind of men that I can't resist
Tell me do those men really not exist
Help me, help me, tell me where's the passion
Oh, is it all old-fashioned
There is No Romance when you ask me for my number... a.s.o."This isn't the stuff we normally do for you guys that are buying this.
This is what happens when you consume massive amounts of drugs and alcohol"
My mother was a douche bag
My sister was a douche bag
I guess that makes me one too
I got the douche bag blues
I got the douche bag blues
I got the douche bag blues
Lord I just don't know what to do
I sold dynamite to the Arabs
Bullets to the Jews
Whiskey to the Indians
And I'll get you too
I got the douche bag blues
I got the douche bag blues
I got the douche bag blues
Lord I just don't know what to do
Vinegar and water
The drink that I choose
I gotta tell ya brother
Tastes like pussy juice
Time flies when you're in a coma...